Does God Speak?

        *Sorry, if this seems like a jumbled mess of thoughts, but it’s been on my heart all day and wanted to write it down! Hope it encourages someone!

        Have you ever struggled with wondering if God ever speaks to you or ask Him time and time again to speak to you? I sure have/do. I have gone through many lonely seasons, even surrounded by people, wondering why God isn’t clarifying or speaking to me.
        Being a parent I have been able to see God’s characteristics and experience Him in different ways that I never would have if I did not have children, and for this I am so thankful. I have two beautiful little boys, one of which is in his toddler years! Oh toddlerhood, it couldn’t come fast enough for our little, independent Jude. He has always admired older children and tries to mock anything anyone older than him does, I can already tell he wants to grow up quicker than I would like. He has such a fun and busy personality, a little energizer bunny. Needless-to-say cuddling moments are few and far between, so anytime he runs up to hug or kiss me or to sit in my lap I embrace them! When he is tired he really gets going, sometimes too much and he will run into something and also uses this time to test me (shocking a toddler testing their momma)!
        Tonight I was trying to get his diaper changed and his pajamas on, so I am calling him, and calling him, and calling him. He is in my line of sight and just looks back at me, gives me that little smirk (which is sometimes hard to be serious with but I get through it), turns and walks the other way. So I call a couple more times, when finally he turns and comes to his room. In that moment I am thinking, son would you just listen to me because clearly you hear me, just listen, I am trying to help you, take care of you, please just listen to me and obey me.
        In an instance God spoke to me, through this sweet 17 month old little boy. So many times I ask God to speak to me, or wonder if He hears me...
         Ever had a newborn/toddler who is kind of wondering if you hear them, you don’t get to them on their time table so they get louder and louder? Well I have one of each right now, and it’s a beautiful noise when they think they need me at the same time! *Sarcasm* But in those moments they are probably, in a way, wondering, “Mommy, do you hear me?” Of course I hear them, how could I not hear them! Jude loves to eat, I mean he loves to eat (he even eats brussels sprouts!), so when it comes time to eat if food isn’t there he gets louder and louder wondering if I will ever feed him again (even though I just fed him a snack two hours ago, sometimes ten minutes ago)! What he doesn’t know is I am at the stove cooking his dinner, putting it on his plate, getting it all together for him to eat, beyond satisfaction!
         ....insert lightbulb moment... It is kind of like God is asking me, “Kayla, why would you ever question if I hear you? Of course I hear you, I love you, I’ve already answered your needs, you just don’t see everything right in front of you yet, but don’t worry I have it all covered because I care for you, I love you. So why would you question if I ever speak to you?” Seriously, that totally grips my heart, why would I question anything about God’s promises?
         The question isn’t does God speak, the question is (and some of us have heard this before) do you listen? Do you really listen and then follow in obedience? Or do you still have to mindset of a toddler and hear what you want to hear and continue in your own direction?